10 Tips for Nonverbal Communication With a Person Who Has Alzheimer’s

I rushed into the memory care facility – I was late – to visit Jean one sunny Thursday. Jean is one of “My Ladies” with Alzheimer’s I volunteer to spend some time with each week.

By Marie Marley
Alzheimer's Reading Room

I found her pacing in the lobby and suggested we go to her room to chat a bit. She readily agreed and started walking down the long hallway to her room. I followed behind her.

There wasn’t anything wrong with that in itself. What was wrong was that I talked to her all the way to her room. Since she was hard of hearing and I was behind her she didn’t hear a word I said. Thus I had violated one of the most important rules for communicating with someone who has dementia – or even someone who doesn’t have it for that matter: Don’t talk from behind them.

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I have found a few articles about nonverbal communication with people who have Alzheimer’s. 

Sometimes it’s not just what you say but also what your body language says. I’ve gathered together here some of the more important tips as well as added some myself:

1. Don’t Talk From Behind Them: Despite your best efforts you may sometimes forget this one, as described above.
2. Make Eye Contact: This tip is related to the one above. If you’re standing behind the person you can’t make eye contact.
3. Be at Their Level: If both you and they are standing that’s fine. But if they’re sitting on a chair it’s best if you kneel in front. This is especially important if they are in a wheelchair. Otherwise they will have to look up at you and they may feel you’re towering over them.
4. Use Therapeutic Touch: People with Alzheimer’s may yearn to be touched, but you should ask for permission first and tell the person what you are going to do. Otherwise they may become alarmed.
5. Don’t make sudden movements: This, too, may scare the person.
6. Offer to Shake Hands Every Time You Visit: They probably won’t remember you did it the last time. Put your hand out; they may reach for yours. If not let it go. This tip is related to therapeutic touch.
7. Use Laughter. Alzheimer’s is a deadly serious disease. Nonetheless, sometimes laughter is the best medicine. Be sure to have some light-hearted stories to tell the person at each visit. I have found they may counter by telling you a funny story. Just be sure you’re laughing with the person, not at them.
8. Use Visual Cues: Point, touch or hand them the item you want them to use. For example, if you want them to drink some water, point to it or put a full glass near them and/or then pick it up and hand it to them.
9. Palms up: Never sit with your arms crossed. This tends to convey anger just as it does when interacting with a person who does not have dementia. If you have your palms up it will probably be interpreted by the person as “I’m receptive to you” or “Take my hand” or “I like you”
10. Smile a Lot: This is probably the most important guideline of all. You will want to do this at any time (except if the conversation is more serious), but particularly when you’re telling the person something pleasant or humorous and when the person is telling you something of a like nature.

Come Back Early Today: A Memoir of Love, Alzheimer's and Joy

Following these simple tips can improve your communication with the person, leading to a more enjoyable visit.

Can any of you think of any additional tips for nonverbal communication?

Custom Search - 10 Tips for Caregivers

Number 4 is from an interview I did with Teepa Snow. 

Numbers 5 and 9 come from an article by Bob DeMarco.

Custom Search of related articles - Dementia Care

And, number 8 is from a PDF on the website of the

Alzheimer’s Association

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Marie Marley is the award-winning author of the uplifting book, Come Back Early Today: A Memoir of Love, Alzheimer’s and Joy. Her website contains a wealth of information for Alzheimer’s caregivers.

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