Rose is Betwixt and Between over Mrs J--Mrs. J’s out wandering again

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Rose Lamatt is trying as hard as he can to make sure Mrs J--the Wanderer--receives the care she needs. But now, she is frustated because the grandson doesn't really care.

I wrote the other day that I am a goal oriented guy. I am also a problem solver. Sometimes the first or second solution to a problem doesn't work. What is important is finding an effective solution to the problem. I'll put my potential solution in the comments box.

By Rose Lamatt

So now what? Is this called passing the buck, or what? Please tell me, how can we depend on government services when this sort of thing happens? Who is in charge of this fiasco? Who is responsible? The family?
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After my good feelings that Children and Families were going to watch over Mrs. J. by having her grandson with her and when he’s not, she was going to go to another family member’s home, things changed all within hours. Now I again have an ache in the pit of my stomach I’m sorry to say.

The pastor called saying Mrs. J. was at the church yesterday, didn’t know what she wanted, as the other day and could not converse. The pastor told Mrs. J. to get in the car with her and she drove her home. When inside Mrs. J.’s house, she found the grandson on the couch watching TV. The pastor told him that Mrs. J. shouldn’t be out wandering, for she could get lost. The grandson simply shrugged his shoulders.

The pastor feels no one is with Mrs. J. at night, either, for she sees no car at the house other than Mrs. J.’s.

At 7:45 a.m. today no one was at Mrs. J.’s house, according to the pastor.

At 3:35 p.m. today, just off the phone with the pastor, I called Children and Families. I spoke with the same worker, as before, who had told me Mrs. J. would be cared for. I told him exactly what the pastor said, that she felt Mrs. J. was not being cared for in the right manner and I agreed. Someone needs to be with her at night. The worker said ‘someone should be with her at all times.’ I told him that didn’t seem to be happening, repeating what the pastor told me. He said that the family needs to contact the Alzheimer’s Association.

So now what? Is this called passing the buck, or what? Please tell me, how can we depend on government services when this sort of thing happens? Who is in charge of this fiasco? Who is responsible? The family? I do believe so, but when the family doesn’t own up to their responsibility, then other matters need to be taken. I’ve tried to do my part by being a caring person for my fellow human being, especially those who have Alzheimer’s. I’ve been there before, and know what can happen. If the family can’t handle it, then they need to do something else—hire a caregiver, if the grandson doesn’t do what he is supposed to, or admit Mrs. J. to a facility so she IS taken care of.

I get the impression that this family does NOT care and Mrs. J. is falling through the cracks—or should I say caverns, now.
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Rose Lamatt is an author and a citizen journalist. Rose first learned about Alzheimer's while caring for her dear friend Carol for 14 years. Rose is experienced in adult day care, assisted living, and Alzheimer's support. Her wealth of experience led her to write Just a Word--Friends Encounter Alzheimer's. Rose is a writer/contributer to the Alzheimer's Reading Room.
Original content Rose Lamatt, Alzheimer's Reading Room

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