The Attitude of Gratitude is a hard concept to grasp from the perception of an exhausted caregiver. Some days, I wanted to scream and bury my head in my pillow. No, was all I could say. No to life. No to caregiving. No to everything....
By Barbara Pursley
Life is not going as we think it should!
At these times, we might be feeling overwhelmed, anxious, discouraged or resentful. Gratitude would be our last thought.
Mom had Alzheimer’s for eleven years and it’s been seven years since I was a caregiver. I’m looking in retrospect, seeing today what I couldn’t see then.
I learned that it took me three years to through all of the stages of grief. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross says that grief is a five-stage process: denial, anger, bargaining, sadness and finally, acceptance.
Today, I can see how my pain was transformed to strength.
I learned that my obsession to journal was a crazy caregiver trying to make sense of her world. But, what I didn’t know was that the journaling entries would become a book.
I learned that I had to become a caregiver so that my experience could help others. But, what I didn’t know was that I would become a speaker.
I learned that I was the best caregiver I could be even when I doubted myself. But, what I didn’t know was that I wouldn’t have any regrets.
It’s interesting that after we go through a difficult time, in retrospect we can often see that there was something important and necessary about the experience. Sometimes our anxiety will make us want a clear perspective before it’s time.
We don’t always know why we’ve been led down a certain path.
We don’t always know what it is we are learning or why a door closed or opened.
Why have I been called to a caregiver? Why me?
Perspective will come in retrospect.
Now is the time to be. Allow things to happen. Go with the flow.
In hindsight, you will know why you were called to be a caregiver.
If you are going through a painful time in your life right now, reach out for support from people who understand and allow yourself to fully experience all of your feelings. Ask that the gifts in the experience be revealed to you as soon as you are ready.
In every lesson, there is a blessing!
Barbara Pursley was born in Galveston, Texas and is the author of EMBRACING THE MOMENT. Barabara attended Santa Monica College, studied photography, and worked as a commercial photographer before returning to Texas to care for her mother. Barbara also taught journal writing to women in Texas rehabilitation facilities. She put her God inspired journal entries and photographs into book form in 2009.
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Original content Barbara Pursley, the Alzheimer's Reading Room